Be a Buffalo Face the Storm
This episode is a candid conversation as I share lessons I’m relearning in new areas of my life in real time. I’m relearning the courage and strength of facing life’s hardships head on through therapy, I’m relearning the lie of once as it pertains to my relationships, and I’m relearning how to be more present in the moment without my dreams and worries distracting me.
In this episode, we’ll chat about:
What it means to be a buffalo and face the storms of life head on
The way “once” gets in the way of us finding contentment now
How to be more present as a dreamer or worrier
I’m currently in a season of life where I’m having to relearn the same lessons I thought I had nailed down. Joke’s on me, though. The thing is, as I climb new mountains in my life, such as entrepreneurship and marriage, I’m realizing that so many of the struggles I’m facing are teaching me the same things I learned in my health journey, just applied in a new area.
BE A BUFFALO, FACE THE STORM.
My friend Nora once shared the story of the buffalo and it has become a new symbol of sorts for me in this season as well as the members inside my Climb community.
When a storm rolls in, almost all animals in the animal kingdom instinctively turn and run away from the storm. They want to escape the impending pain and discomfort by outrunning it so they will run for hours, days, maybe even weeks. Unfortunately, outrunning a storm is hard to do and often times they end up running with the storm, only prolonging the discomfort of it while simultaneously growing tired, weary, and depleted.
Buffalo, however, are one of the only animals who turn and face the storm head on. They charge into it headfirst and, sure, it might be uncomfortable and challenging, riddled with rain, sleet, snow, and so on. BUT, after perhaps just 15 minutes or so, they’ve already made it to the other side, minimizing how long they have to endure the discomfort.
That’s a beautiful metaphor for life, isn’t it?
I recognized that when it came to my health journey, I had been running away from the storm for most of my life. The discomfort I was avoiding was the dislike and self-judgement that I had for myself and my body. I spend years numbing myself away from the pain through food and it wasn’t until I turned and faced that internal storm head on that I was finally able to break through the other side. It was painful, to dig deep and discover that the biggest thing getting in my own way was me, but it is what allowed me to stop running and I’m so grateful I finally found the courage to do so.
Now, I’m learning that this same thing applies to every new mountain I climb whether that’s entrepreneurship or marriage. When I find myself running, avoiding pain and discomfort, I remember that the best way to get to the other side is through it, head on. Facing the storm, the thing that always feels the hardest, is the only way through.
What storms in your own life have you been running away from? What does facing the storm look like for you?
I STARTED THERAPY
For me, facing the storm in my life right now looks like finally starting therapy. Although I’ve been an avid supporter of therapy for years, I had never formally seen a therapist myself. My best friend Jessica happens to be a licensed therapist and I always used that as my excuse.
This year, I’ve found myself running away from some tough things. As I felt myself struggling, I started to feel shame about it. I would think to myself, “I’m a coach. I should know this, I should be able to coach myself through this.” But if I was truly coaching myself, I’d say to get out of my own head and get the support that I need.
The truth is that EVERYONE needs support. All coaches need coaches. All therapists need therapists. There is no shame in being human, there is strength in vulnerability and seeking the support you need.
As I’m writing this, I’ve only been to two therapy sessions so far and I am loving it. I already feel lighter. The best way I can describe the feeling is like a release, the exhale of a breath I’ve been holding in for far too long.
It feels like the greatest gift I’ve ever given myself to create a space for me to feel in a healthy way, to share and process the emotional burden instead of thinking I need to carry the weight alone. And the most beautiful thing is seeing how it is already overflowing into every area of my life in a beautiful way.
If you’re thinking about trying therapy yourself, here’s your sign to make the appointment. It’s simple. Visit psychologytoday.com, type in your zipcode, and search based on your insurance. Each therapist has a profile you can read through to learn more about them and their practice. Send a message to several that seem like a good fit to see if they are taking on new clients. Simple as that!
THE LIE OF “ONCE”
Going to therapy has helped me become even more self-reflective. As a result, I’ve had several new epiphanies that really just feel like old lessons I’m again relearning.
One of the latest lessons I’ve relearned is the lie of once. Before I started my health journey, I had a story in my head that I’d be happier ONCE I lost the weight, ONCE I fit into a certain size, ONCE I looked a certain way. What I know now to be true is that the things I was reaching for wasn’t a size or weight at all, but a feeling. I wanted to feel happy, free, loved, and beautiful. But feelings aren’t born of circumstance, they are born of thought, meaning that you don’t have to wait until ONCE to start feeling that way now.
That being said… I had a blind spot for where the lie of once was showing up in other areas of my life.
My husband Brent helped illuminate me, the dreamer, who gets so lost in the clouds of her big audacious dreams and bright future that I forget to appreciate where my feet are currently planted. I keep reaching for more, thinking I’ll finally feel successful ONCE I make a certain amount of money, ONCE we can buy our dream home, ONCE I get a camper van and travel across the country.
On a walk the other day, Brent turned to me and said, “Kiah, for years you wanted to move home to California. You were so homesick, begging me to move back so you could be close to your family. We’re here. Be here.”
It was a punch in the gut and a wake up call I desperately needed. I’ve become so distracted by achievement that I haven’t even give myself the time and space to appreciate what is already mine, what is already here.
Almost everything we want in life comes down to a feeling. The reasons I want to increase my revenue, own a house, or travel the country in a camper van isn’t because of the things themselves, but the feelings I think they provide. I want to feel successful, secure, joyful, connected, free, and adventurous. But those feelings aren’t on the other side of ONCE, they are are all available to me right now.
In an effort to create those feelings now, my husband and I have started doing weekly date days where we create the intentional adventure and connection I’ve been craving right here in our own backyard. It has been so lifegiving and incredible to relearn that everything I want in life is already mine, I just have to stop and realize it.
JUST THIS
As a dreamer, it can be easy for me to get lost in the clouds. That in my mind, I’ve been intentionally working on being more present in my life.
Reading through my friend Dr. Adrienne Youdim’s book Hungry for More, there was a chapter where she shared a simple mantra that has stuck with me ever since. It’s, “Just this.”
Her dad had just been diagnosed with dementia and she found herself worrying about all the hardships and pain that was to come. I myself have had several relatives recently diagnosed with illnesses and I notice my brain quickly spiraling with all the terrible things that MIGHT happen. Even in my business, my brain can get lost down a rabbit hole of worry about what lies ahead.
But worrying about what could go wrong is focusing my energy on something that hasn’t even happened yet. The more I focus on it, the more I’m manifesting tragedy to appear. I once heard someone say that both faith and fear require you to believe in something that hasn’t happened yet. But presence allows you to simply center yourself in what is. Just this.
All we are guaranteed is this moment. Let’s not waste in with worry or dread, if we can help it. Let’s just be here. Just this.
I hope some of these lessons I’ve shared with you that I’m relearning can help encourage you as we continue to climb this journey of life together.