3 Lies Holding You Back
What is the biggest thing getting in the way of you reaching your goals? I’m just going to come out and say it, odds are the BIGGEST thing getting in your way is… well, you, and the lies you’re holding onto believing. In this episode, I’m going to share three of the biggest lies and excuses that might be holding you back.
In this episode, we’ll chat about:
Ways our brain uses excuses to protect us
Why these lies are holding you back from making real progress
How to take ownership to get out of your own way
Welcome back, friends!
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In today’s episode, I’m going to be calling you out, with love, of course, about three lies and excuses that just might be holding you back from reaching your goals. Let’s dive in!
First, let’s start with a few questions.
What is one of the big goals or dreams on your heart? What is the biggest thing getting in the way of you reaching those goals? Whether that’s your health goals, your career goals, you’re cleaning your house goals, or otherwise.
Take a second to think of ALL the things getting in your way, all of the reasons that you can’t achieve them, all of the circumstances that are making it harder in your life, and go ahead and write them down.
Now listen, don’t get me wrong, I understand that certain circumstances complicate our lives and do in fact get in the way of us showing up the way we wish we could. I just know there is some mama of young toddlers out there listening to this, thinking, EASY FOR HER TO SAY, she doesn’t have to deal with this since she doesn’t have kids.
Let me just take a moment to say that I hear you, and I see, and my heart goes out to you in this season. BUT those words, easy for you to say, aren’t helpful. It’s insinuating that you KNOW it is in fact easy for the person saying the thing when you don’t, you don’t know there unique situations, and it’s doubting your own abilities to do them all in the same breath.
I think when it comes to doing new things, establishing new habits, or reaching for new goals, it’s important that we give ourselves grace, honor the season we’re in, and meet ourselves where we are. And I also think it’s important for us to get REALLY honest with ourselves about what is truly getting in the way.
Because I’d venture to guess, friend, odds are the BIGGEST thing getting in your way is… well, you, and the lies you’re holding onto believing.
I’m going to share THREE of the biggest lies and excuses that might be holding you back so you can get out of your own way, and start making real progress toward the goals on your heart.
Are you ready? Let’s do this.
LIE #1: I don’t have the time.
First of all, I want us to recognize that we keep holding onto these lies, excuses, limiting beliefs, or whatever you want to call them, because they are benefiting us in some way. So, let’s get compassionately curious about some of the benefits behind, “I don’t have the time.”
What benefit am I getting from believing this?
It feels validating and justifiable.
It puts the blame on something or someone else outside of me, rather than owning my own choices.
Maybe it feels better to blame my job, my partner, my kids, my family, my volunteer responsibilities, etc. than it does to blame myself and how I choose to spend my time.
Next, let’s flip the script and take ownership of the lie so we can put ourselves back in the driver’s seat of our own lives rather than taking victim
Instead of, “I don’t have the time,” taking ownership sounds more like, “It is not a priority for me right now.”
Here’s the truth: We ALL have the same 24 hours in a day, including Beyoncé. We ultimately get to decide how to use them, that is up to nobody but ourselves. If you’re a mom to three children under the age of 10, it’s okay to be honest with yourself about your kids being your first priority in this season. You could choose to be a crappy mom that ignores them entirely, but you’re making an empowered choice to take great care of them instead. No need to feel shame about it, own it instead of blaming them for your lack of time. Notice that perspective shift?
If you’re not at peace with saying, “It is not a priority for me right now,” here’s what you do next. It’s time to find or make some time in your calendar.
I encourage you to audit your calendar this week and get really honest with yourself about how you’re spending your time.
Are you sleeping in later than you’d like to?
Are you spending pockets of time scrolling through social media that could be spent some other way?
Are you spending unnecessary extra time cooking and grocery shopping?
Are you wasting hours of your week volunteering for that thing your regret signing up for?
If there is really no time in your calendar, maybe it’s time to set better boundaries, let some responsibilities go, or outsource. Outsourcing can look like asking for help from a friend, family member, or neighbor. Or outsourcing can look like paying someone for their services, like hiring a house cleaner, bookkeeper, or using a grocery or meal delivery service.
As the saying goes: it’s not about HAVING the time, it’s about MAKING the time.
LIE #2: I don’t know how.
This lie is sometimes paired with other lies like, “I’m not smart enough. I’m not strong enough. I’m not good enough.”
You know the drill, first up let’s ask ourselves…
What benefit am I getting from believing this?
It’s giving me an excuse for not showing up. By believing that OTHER people have some knowledge or resource that I don’t, that means that I don’t have to show up and work for it. It’s self-sabotage at its finest.
It’s keeping me comfortable with the status quo instead of choosing the discomfort of growth.
Maybe I’m scared, and that’s okay. But the only way for me to gain confidence is to start showing up.
Next, let’s flip the script and take ownership.
Instead of, “I don’t know how,” taking ownership sounds more like, “I don’t know how YET.”
Isn’t it funny how we expect ourselves to be experts without ever having done something before? Do you realize how ridiculous that is?
It’s like seeing a baby try walking for the first time and stumbling to the floor. Do you look over at them and say, “Well, looks like you’re just not cut out for this walking thing, kid.”
NO, of course not, so let’s stop doing this to ourselves.
We’ll never feel totally “ready” to do the thing until we start actually doing the thing. The only solution is to take action and learn along the way.
I want you to put this excuse to the side and recognize that it’s 2021. We live in an era where we can Google search literally ANYTHING we want to on the internet for free. If we don’t know how or what the next step is and we have access to the internet, we are choosing to be willfully ignorant by continuing to hold onto this lie.
And if you’re still not taking action, it’s time to be honest with yourself. You simply don’t want it bad enough. Period, that’s the hard truth.
LIE #3: It’s too late.
If there is air in your lungs and a heart beating in your chest, it’s not too late. This life, this day, this breath is a gift, one not everyone received today. Believing the lie that it’s too late is almost insulting to those that didn’t even get a chance to wake up today.
What benefit are you getting from believing this?
It’s keeping you safe from the unknown, familiarity feels comforting.
It’s keeping you comfortable instead of having to show up and take action.
It’s keeping you safe from failing or having others see you attempt something new and fail.
Next, let’s flip the script and take ownership.
One of my favorite lines that I preach to my Climb members is, “My race, my pace.”
We have these imaginary timelines in our heads of what our life is supposed to look like and it’s total BS. What if we trusted that everything was right on time? That we were right on time? That now is actually the perfect time, and time hasn’t passed us by?
For a little fresh perspective, here’s a shortlist of people that succeeded later in life:
Stan Lee, comic book creator behind the famed Marvel movies, didn’t catch his big break until he was almost 40.
Vera Wang didn’t even start working in the fashion industry until she was 40.
Samuel Jackson didn’t break into stardom until he was 46 after starring in Pulp Fiction with John Travolta.
Julia Child published her first cookbook when she was 50 years old.
Harland Sanders, better known as Colonel Sanders, got fired from dozens of jobs and went broke at 65, using his $105 social security check to start his chicken franchise. Yep, Kentucky Fried Chicken y’all.
Listen, I know it isn’t easy. And I know it can be scary! There’s a reason that we come up with all these seemingly well-intentioned excuses. It’s the way our brain tries to keep us safe and comfortable.
But good things and big dreams are rarely, if ever, achieved inside your comfort zone. So friend, if you’re ready to make real progress towards those dreams, I think you and I both know what needs to happen next. You need to get out of your own way, and start taking action TODAY. Before you’re ready.
And hey, if one of those big goals and dreams on your heart is creating a healthy lifestyle you love and rebuilding your relationship with yourself and your body from the inside out, I’d love to help support you along the way.
You don’t have to do this alone and I believe deep in my core that we are so much stronger together, when we’re surrounded by a community of like-minded people you “get it”, who can hold space and love for us on the hard days, and encourage and cheer for us on the good ones.
If that community is something that you’re looking for, the doors are opening to the Climb membership community at the end of September and we’d love to have you join. BUT, before then, I’ll be hosting my first ever Free Coaching Week to teach you the counterintuitive #backwards approach to reaching your health goals so you can live the joyful, healthy, and confident life you dream of.
Let’s get out of our own way and release the lies that are holding us back. I’m cheering for you friends!
Coach Kiah